Night Out: Husbands vs. Wives

Husband's Night Out: 

(The morning of said night out)

Him: "I'm going to go to a game tonight with [insert guy friend’s name here]."
Me: "Okay, what time is the game?"
Him: "Seven."
Me: (Mentally calculating drive and parking time.) "Okay. So you'll be here for dinner, pjs, and leave around 6:15-6:30."
Him: (Blank stare.) "No. We're having a beer before. Leaving here around 5:00. Okay?"
Me: (Painfully biting tongue.) "Sure thing, jerk." (The "jerk" is silent.)

Wife's Night Out:

(Early evening, said night out)

Me: "You remember that I'm going over to [insert girlfriend’s name here]'s house tonight right? I sent you a text when we scheduled it last week and I mentioned it again yesterday and also this morning?" 
Him: (Blank stare.) "Oh. Seriously? Tonight? Right. Um, okay, sure, okay." (Deer in the headlights look.) "What time are you leaving? It's not, like, dinner, right?"
Me: "Yes, dinner. I was hoping around 6:30. I fed the kids. You just have to put them in pjs and put them in bed."
Him: "Yeah…it's been a really long day. But…go. You should go. We'll be fine." (Looks totally unconvinced.)
Me: "How about this? I will bathe them and put them in pjs. Then you literally just have to put them in bed like half an hour after I leave. Okay?"
Him: (Still looks totally unconvinced.) "Sure thing, jerk." (The "jerk" is, of course, silent.)

We really aren't so different, after all, are we? HA. 

(*Please note, this post has been slightly exaggerated. Because it makes a better story that way, obviously.*)

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